poison...don't read this

missed again

thought maybe busyness would make up for loneliness. totally stupid, indiscriminately signing up for things...not the answer!

As a result of stupidness:

I must help clean up the church grounds today, drive to Williamsburg and sing in Latin, French and Italian...and English. Buy a Tuxedo! Yeah that's in the budget! Install a new 3 phase breaker in the basement with a fused disconnect and prepare a weatherproof power distribution box for the upcoming Oktoberfestival.

I don't want to do any of these things!

just bitchin

10-4

Random thoughts from VT.

Where does all the dust come from? when no one goes in or out. how can there be such dust? do mice eat soap or just crap on it? why is it so much like a time warp here? I can't sleep in this house anymore. I'll be sleeping fine in VA and then i could stay awake for a month here.

I miss my audio equipment. I have picked out the "A" list to listen to while here. Currently playing the Kyrie from Messe Solenelle. Sung by the Men and Boys of St. Lukes Evanston IL. Mighty nice with 1 HP/channel into the lows and mid range, 60watt/channel of crystal tube amp clarity into the tweeter and super tweeters. Little Tim Allen Haw-haw more power.

So the air in here was so stale I opened all windows and doors at midnight when I arrived and it got right cool by morning. Nice. Got my six mile run in before the heat of day. So much nicer running on the dirt roads here. Beat the 1 1/4 mile hill that used to always kick my butt. So I know I'm in pretty good shape.

Just waiting for the replacement realtor to get here and have a little meeting. Then off to town, repair the server in families biz, then off to Stratton Mtn to service and perform some training on the CCTV sys at the PD up there. Dinner with family, happy 76 b-day mom and off to Dorset Mtn for many many drinks with the Ed & Steve show. They always have me up when I'm in town. Church in Arlington tomorrow and fly back for hopeful sleep and back to work.

May write more later. St. Lukes is calling.

OK - So why is it when people start having network problems they suddenly decide to re-wire everything. JHC if it worked for 3 or 4 years the way it was...leave the GD wires alone. Please I beg you. Please leave my wires alone. I'm not sure the pain and anguish is coming through. OK I'll get back down in the basement and try to figure out what happened. Course no one remembers.

Patterns

What makes us recognize some patterns especially those obscure, like the shape of a cloud or random stars in the sky.

Yet we fail to see others as clear as the nose on our face. The familiar passive aggressive behavior of that new someone we're dating. The backstabbing habits of the new fat girl in accounting. The psycho chick that won't go away and treats you like crap.

I see happy puppies in the clouds and soothing interstellar shapes in the stars. Failing to acknowledge the damaging and often hurtful behavior of the nutcases all around.

Thank God for the few really good folks that remind us there is a reason to get up each day and continue to regularly breath in and out.

Milestone

For whatever it's worth. One year ago today I returned to Virginia from Vermont. It's been about the fastest year I can recall...or can't recall. Grateful to those who shared parts of it with me.

Been here a year and still living out of boxes. I like to take things slow.

Alphabet

Are you listening

Before you leave I'd like to know

Companion is not a description

Desire fades with time

Exhausting, time consuming

Forget that suggestion...

Grand scheme of things

Happens all the time

Insomnia

Juxtapose...the good and the ugly

Kindness is not enough

Loud enough to

Making excuses is not necessary

Narcissistic

Omnipresence for whom

Powerful are the words

Quiet are the dreams

Respect?

Sincerity

Tenacious is the norm

Universal lack of reason

Volumes spoken without a sound

Words are lost

X - Tough any help here

You will not get it

Zen - right