Not for me

How is it that you are still hurting me? I thought we would spend Thanksgiving together. They say with each hurt you build a scale a toughness against the next...well not for me.

I know in my head that you are wrong. I deserve better than this and you deserve what you get. You've no idea what you threw away with yesterdays trash. Why can't I be angry....it's not for me.

I hate you, I love you, I miss you and I wish I'd never met you. I wish I could save other men from you. The only person I really feel I wish for a time machine to go back and avoid that day. Skip it, take a nap, go out of town...fantasy is not for me.

Why do I still think about you. Wonder how you are. If your mom is better, how you dad is holding up and even if you might just call me. You're a death, a Cancer a stain on my life. You are not for me!