Suckin wind

And then there were two. The trinity dissolved on Christmas day. My favorite; the one who stole my heart, gave it back on our Lord's natal day. This was done with her kids just 15ft away. Now I'm sure they didn't hear. Yet it allowed for no discussion. I didn't get to say goodbye. We spent 3 nights a week together for the last 6 weeks and now nothing.

She doesn't want to be uncomfortable (in an email) so no communication. I see her on the IM. A timid hello...followed by the most resounding silence. She claims to be a fundamental Christian. It's all wrapped up in a nice neat package. She's saved, good to go. No need to treat people with loving kindness. No need to step outside of your comfort zone to spare the feelings or ease the hurt of another of God's created.

I'm pretty sure Christ would not have responded quite this way. Maybe I haven't digested the bible and marked all the spots that reinforce my viewpoint. So secure in her exclusionistic boxed up world. If that's really the way to be a Christian, I'll have no part of it.

You'll never see this Peggy, so your comfort is ensured. I hope you find someone as narrow minded as you to navigate your lives together through the narrow paths in your over sized SUV. The world outside your box is vast and beautiful and in need and hurting. But never mind eh. We'll attend to it.

Peace to you

Trinity

The Christian phenomenon. How can three be one and one be three? It's a conundrum, a paradox. We don't have the ability to understand more than that it is not comprehensible.

Now this is not a religious or spiritual writing. It is about the three who are not one but three. And they are not really aware of the other two, yet not ignorant of the fact the there are other(s). Why couldn't they be three in one. Would be much easier, but then perhaps I'd be dating God. And I'm guessing he/she/they are a bit busy for casual dinners at the Thai place. The quintessential question, does God like sushi?

Back to subject, I have never done this before. You'd think by almost 43 I'd already have this experience under my belt. But no. In the past women have faded so quickly it never mattered. I'd have 2 or 3 or 4, turn around and realize there were none. So quickly it'd make your head spin. So what's the deal? Three that won't give up? It's unprecedented. I mean in a sense it's not a bad problem. But then how does one proceed without hurting at least 2 people. Possibly all three.

And the one I like the most is the most reluctant which goes in my mind to prove that we really do want that which is hardest to achieve. In this case even though she treats me with the least kindness. Picks at my religious liberalism, my political views (liberalism), my abundance of gay and lesbian friends. The fact that I like bow ties. She got angry with me for handling a difficult situation passively. Which I might add worked quickly, to my advantage and no one got angry! I have to ask myself what I see in her. And deep down I'm really afraid it's the chase. If I catch her I'm afraid I'll loose interest. How frigging screwed up is that?

The remaining 2 are both really nice and kind and fun to be with. They deserve the lions share of my time, not meany pants. I believe I will stop chasing, this is why people play games. There is an underlying meanness in all this shit. I feel as though it is completely unavoidable. Upon my next visit I hope to have dissolved this trinity.