To all readers:
Yes all 3 of you. The computer guy, the one with more certifications than brains misunderstood the security settings on this site and wound up locking a number of you out for several weeks. Just goes to show you that Microsoft Certifications are completely useless. Maybe they look nice hanging on the wall. Anyway we are back on track here and open for public viewing again. There is no promise of anything worth reading. But hey, nothing new.
Peace
Forgive me blog
It has been 31 days since my last entry. I struggle with a number of things outside my control...foolish man that I am. I let my heart hurt perhaps out of self pity or maybe loathing.
I want and desire, crave and seek without regard to others. I look at the happiness others enjoy and wonder if they are faking it. Is that possible. How do they drag themselves out of the muck. I put on a fake smile and laugh at someones joke. Not having heard a word they said.
I see her across the room but am frightened to approach. I want to talk with her but nothing comes out of my mouth. I would give everything without hesitation to know if she still thinks about me. Is it possible to have done something so awful that I can never be forgiven? I have no outlet but you blog. Who can I confide in about this? How can I share this weakness with anyone without their complete loss of respect?
Moving on. Going through the motions of eating food and work and exercise. Settling into a routine as fulfilling as diet coke. Loosing ground, missing out. Singleness, loss, inwardness, doubt.
So blog forgive me for my absence. Thank you for listening. I'll be back.
