Giving back

Two mini stories slightly related. It's on my mind and this will be a record of it.

One evening after spending time with the girlfriend at the time, I was still in high school for reference...my car broke down on the way home. It was about 10 miles to our house. I walked back to her place and knocked like crazy but she would not wake up. I could even see her through the window. Asleep. So I began the long trek home. It was dead of winter and snowing and after midnight. There were virtually no cars going by but I started putting my thumb out hoping. Someone did stop and gave me a ride all the way into town. This left me only a mile or so to walk. I was grateful.

A couple of weeks later driving that same road I saw someone trying to hitch a ride and felt that I owed the favor back. This turned out to be so scary. The guy wanted to smoke pot in my car and was overall a rough character. I was relieved when he got out.

When I moved back here I had almost no plan what-so-ever. But I knew my friend mj would rent me a room and I could establish myself from there and she did. It made things so much easier and I was grateful. Although I was sorta squeezed out by her mother and brother it was still a life saver for a few months.

At the end of last year I had the opportunity to return this favor back to the general cosmos. However once again the favor came with ramifications that were unexpected and painful if not scary. I firmly believe this has caused a loss in my life which I will regret for the rest of time and while this situation is almost resolved...yes still not quite damn it. I'm not completely certain I can recover what I've lost.

So no good deed goes unpunished and hope must prevail.