free me

One day you just get tired of crying
Runnin' can't escape the beating heart
One day you just get tired of dying
Living can't escape the beating march
But a higher bloom unveils
In a low down dirty day
And all that dreams entail
Come and take your suffering away
This eye looks with love
This eye looks with judgment
Free me take the sight out of this eye

-Edie Brickell-

Free me from this lack of faith
Save me from falling away
Catch me when I am unkind
Keep me of a simple mind
When I falter when I slip
Buoy me up don't let me trip
If I don't pass on your love
Free me...

-Gern-

Irene

To followup on a question from the last post about Aunt Irene, actually Great Aunt Irene...she is still with us although I believe her body is all but dead, the mind isn't quite at peace yet.

We believe she is afraid to die possibly because she thinks my Dad needs her. The Hospice worker said if she was put at peace she would likely die shortly after. I am told by my sister that my father very lovingly and beautifully told her that we would all be ok. That we loved her and it was ok for her to rest. He told her it was ok for her to be with Jesus and her loved ones that had gone on before her.

I understand it was so moving and touching that everyone there was in tears. Who is this man that claims to be my father? Why am I learning about the breadth of his dimensions and depth of his feelings so late in life? Is this new or have I not been paying attention? I feel so isolated and alone down here like my family is fading away. I call them so often I'm afraid I'm becoming a pest.

The weird thing is that we weren't close to Irene growing up. However it is way too sobering watching her deteriorate, somewhat less than 80lbs now and the mind giving up logical thought and reason. It's not fair God. It's not right to continue to drag this on. She has done her work here. Volunteered for over 40 years at the clinic and likely many other things.

But I digress. Irene seems to be very much stuck. Eventually her body will completely give up on her. But for now she continues to live for others. Caught in some sort of cruel misunderstanding. Life is full of them.

step

Into the light
step in to the light
you've earned your rest
time and this world have exacted their best

Step to the light
where no darkness exists
no shadow - no gray - no waver

Step too the light
they wait for you there
gram and gramps, uncle john....
longing to see you healed, restored to perfection

Step into the light
follow its glow
the strongest woman we've known
strength leaves you now, let it flow
you won't need it
not where you go

Step into the light
you must leave us behind
we'll carry on in your place
for a time

Step into the light
enough is enough
no more pills no more suffering
no more, no more of that stuff

Step off to the light
what a burden it's been
the top rung of our family ladder
not vacant, now the next of your kin

Be at perfect - perfect peace
please prepare the way
I'm on the ladder
but two steps away

Bless you Irene and the life that you lived
may the light warm you always where always you live