Low
How low can you go?
Pretty low actually. I do this to myself. Over and over and I don't learn from my mistakes. Whenever something happens that seems insurmountable...awful, irreconcilable I react in the most idiotic ways. Withdrawing away from all that is important to me. Recoiling from my mainstays in life. Securing the downward spiral.
Even as it is happening, the internal struggle to do what is best vs what will hurt the least begins. The trouble is that what will hurt the least at the moment takes away things that can never be gotten back.
I have this list of "things" at work. One the the items on the list says; "For every minute you are angry you loose 60 seconds of happiness you can never get back." I think that applies to more than anger. Think about the experiences lost by denying oneself that which is most important. All those lost seconds...spending time with those you love, laughter, smiles, fellowship, spiritual renewal, prayer.
One must not allow ego to deny life. As I come back I seem to understand, value, appreciate. Maybe this post will help me remember.
One can only hope...eh
