end

Must all good things come to an end? Must we be constantly reminded of how fragile and fleeting life is? Does anyone out there get to relax into the knowing that tomorrow that "good thing" will still be there?

I guess the answer is no...I lost a thing this weekend. I've known of the upcoming loss for some time but I didn't realize it would effect me so. I've taken this thing for granted. Assumed it would always be there and not availed myself of it nearly as often as I could have...maybe should have. I seem to be loosing so many things lately. I have this desperate nervousness that seems to linger about me. It's so very uncomfortable. I try to just be ok...how do you do that?

Everything seems to be falling away, work, school, personal stuff. I need to succeed on one or more of these. I need to win. Need something good to happen. I want that second chance. I won't screw it up this time. I won't....