fear
If you love something (someone)...sometimes you have to let it (them) go. I've heard this said. They say if (they) love you (they) will return to you. Perhaps this is the mindset for turning a grown offspring loose in the world. I doubt I'll ever know that feeling and I don't know if that deepens or lessons my sadness. The degree of change being insignificant.
I have to let someone go. I have to give them their freedom. Why don't I love them enough? How do you fight the fear that says you will loose them? You will loose that which is good about yourself that they bring out in you. You will never find someone who looks at you that way again, that makes you feel relevant, special, important.
know that I am trying...know that I care...know that I mean well
silent scream
4 comments:
I've found my life to be more controlled by fear than I'd imagined. I'm working on stopping that... after all, I'm halfway through (hopefully!) and I'd like to be in charge of the next half. I know that's not what you're saying here, but it's similar. Your fear is more controlling than love. Drop fear. Keep love. It's Buddhist to say Desire to have nothing. Own nothing. Have no expectations. Just expect the unexpected. Don't judge what life brings. (It's also impossible for me, so I'm glad I'm not a Buddhist!)
We are so human... love the typo (deliberate?) "lessons my sadness." I feel it. Hang in.
Keep thinking I'll become weathered, hardened, resistant. I wait for the armor to form in place...nothing
The typo, accidental in occurrence but deliberately left uncorrected.
Nope, armor doesn't form like barnacles on ones like us... I guess something to be thankful for!
you think? I don't feel thankful.
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